The Regained Purpose
by Arianne 08
Summary: My take on chapters 64-66. Recalling the tragic fate of Levi's former squad, Eren finally decides to believe in himself. But how will he handle the shocking truth about his father's sin? Eremika in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_I absolutely loved chapter 66. So much that I just had to write something based on it. It turned out to be harder than I expected, though, since Isayama has left us with millions of possibilities. It's impossible to tell what will happen in chapter 67, how the serum will affect Eren, whether he will really fight Rod Reiss, what role will Kenny play… I tried to make this story plausible, but again, it's not so easy when you are just dying for a proper reunion of your otp. Though the fact that Eren is still alive is already like a blessing._

_I'm planning to publish the whole story within a week, but time will tell how things will turn out._

_Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin._

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"What's with this woman!?"

The loud terrified shriek pierced the cacophony of incessant gunshots, sharp metallic swish of the 3D maneuver gear cables and desperate shouts of Kenny Ackerman's team. With the speed of an arrow a black-haired girl whizzed past the man who was pointing his gun at her and silenced him for good with one confident slash of her blade. Her dark eyes were ablaze with rage and determination, adrenalin-filled blood pounded intensely in her ears, as if the deafening noise around her wasn't enough.

"You monster!" another scream could be heard amongst the chaos, but not before the girl had noticed the person who was aiming the weapon at her, calling her in such way, enraged by the death of his comrade. Another shot ensued, but the gear enabled her to take a sharp turn and evade the bullet on time. In a split second the attacker was pinned by her foot to the massive crystal column, the sound of his neck breaking lost in the noise of the ongoing battle.

'_Monster?' Perhaps he is right._ She didn't let the short reflection occupy her mind any longer. She had to focus on her current task – to kill and not let herself or her friends be killed. Her wide-open eyes scanned the smoke surrounding her in search for the enemy.

Mikasa Ackerman would never hold back if someone she cared for was in danger. However, that did not mean that she would find pleasure in slicing up flesh, which she claimed to be her specialty. Especially when it wasn't titans' flesh. The human blood which was now spattered on her blades, her clothes, even her skin, was not something she was proud of. Did she despise herself for that? Occasionally in the past such moments would occur when she questioned the existence of a soul within her, but now she knew there was no point in reflecting on such thoughts. This merciless world had forcefully reshaped her personality and attitude and she had accepted it, for she was well aware that it was the only way to survive. She had no heart to spare for people who posed a threat to the wellbeing of her friends and mankind. She was ready to put her own life on the line if need be, in order to protect them. Such was her goal and the source of her strength.

Her soul had already been shattered into pieces the moment she witnessed her mother collapsing to the ground right before her eyes. And in that one moment together with her the entire world of the nine-year-old innocent girl had also collapsed. At that time she couldn't even fathom how people could be so cruel. Killing humans was what the titans would do, so why would humans turn against each other? Humans who had never even met before, who weren't even enemies. Back then she didn't understand any of it.

Then… was it revenge that fueled her determination now? The will to clear the world of criminals who didn't deserve to live? No, it was something completely different. It was a strong sense of a soldier's duty to uphold the survival of mankind and prevent any harm from reaching the innocent people around her who could not fight for themselves. And most importantly it was the will to protect her family – the new family who were now fighting alongside her, and the old family waiting for her somewhere in this gigantic chamber. Somewhere in here was the person who was the reason for all she was doing. He was the one who had brought her back to life, the one who collected the pieces of her shattered soul and showed her that there was still beauty in this cruel world. And now he was in need of her help once again.

They could call her a monster, for all she cared, but they would not stand between her and Eren.

Concentrating on the battle, Mikasa swerved in the air and launched herself at another unaware member of Kenny's team. Trying to ignore the smoke stinging her eyes, she readied her blades to strike the blond-haired woman, yet before she could deliver the blow she was spotted. The woman turned around and managed to dodge the attack just in time, leaving Mikasa far behind with no chance to strike again.

Mikasa heard two shots, probably fired at one of her friends. She made another turn as quickly as her gear allowed, but soon afterwards a sharp cry of pain reached the ears of everyone in Levi's squad. They watched in horror as Hanji was shoved roughly into one of the columns and fell to the ground. Her shoulder was bleeding after being struck by a grapple-hook fired by the blond-haired woman, who had already managed to escape, ordering her squad to retreat.

_No…_

Mikasa had been prepared for such situations, knowing that success didn't depend only on their fighting skills and experience, but naturally it still came as a shock to see one of her comrades being hurt. Yet this time there was more to it. _I could have prevented that_, she thought bitterly, feeling another upsurge of anger. _If only I'd killed her when I had the chance to_. For a short moment the faces of Reiner and Berthold flashed across her mind. They quickly disappeared though, once she heard the Corporal's new orders. It was no use accusing herself. Armin would take care of Hanji. What she had to do now was clear her mind and follow her squad to prevent any other undesirable events.

She gritted her teeth and followed Levi and the rest, praying for Armin and Hanji's safety.

The smoke was gradually clearing up as they pursued the survivors from Kenny's squad, swinging at incredible speed past the monumental columns. There seemed to be no end to them, so enormous was the underground chamber. The air whistled wildly in their ears and they squinted their eyes so as not to lose sight of the enemy. If only they could make it in time. No… they _had to_ make it in time before anything could happen to Eren. Mikasa didn't even allow herself to wonder what consequences would ensue otherwise. She remembered almost too well the terror she had experienced upon seeing him being nearly swallowed by the Female Titan.

At that time she was lucky that Levi had found her amongst the giant trees and they could continue the chase together. Had it not been for him, undoubtedly she would have ended up dead or severely injured, not to mention the fact that Annie would have succeeded in capturing Eren. Back then she was still furious with the Corporal, unable to forgive him for what happened during the trial, blaming him for not protecting Eren properly and who knows for what else. She had consciously chosen to disobey his orders, convinced that she alone would defeat the Female Titan. Her pride was wounded when he had proved her to be wrong, additionally getting injured in the process and evoking the feeling of guilt within her. Regardless of how painful and embarrassing it was, she had learned a valuable lesson from that event. She promised herself that she would never again let her emotions interfere and take control of her. It wasn't only the matter of personal feelings, but feelings in general. What good are impeccable physical skills in battle when the mind is in turmoil and one is prone to making careless decisions, driven by grief and rage? Moreover, it didn't matter if she was worth ten or a hundred regular soldiers, for sooner or later a situation would come when she wouldn't be able to count on herself only. Placing trust in others may sometimes be harder than it seems, but it's the key to working as a part of a team.

As the members of Kenny's squad begun to disappear from view, taking shelter behind the crystal columns, Mikasa knew they were approaching the place where Eren might be.

"Everyone!" Levi called out. "Whatever is going on down there, don't forget the pla—" But before he could finish the sentence, a deafening roar ripped through the air, as if half a hundred cannons had been fired simultaneously. There was a flash of blinding light followed by a blast of enormous heat which managed to blow off the columns those of Kenny's men who were perched closest to its source. Nobody had to think twice to know what they were about to face.

"Eren…" Mikasa's anxiety was growing larger and larger, just like the gigantic titan which was now emerging from the scalding smoke at the end of the dungeon. Its long massive spinal cord had already caused several columns to collapse. Glowing crystals the size of boulders were falling off the ceiling and shattering on the shaking ground. Kenny's squad scattered all over the place, trying to flee from the titan and avoid being crushed, whereas members of the Survey Corps headed directly into the centre of the inferno. Maneuvering their way across the chamber they approached something that looked like a long narrow ledge protruding from the wall into the dungeon.

That was when she finally saw him.

Eren was kneeling at the end of the ledge, half-naked and chained up, like an offering on a sacrificial altar. Long chains stretching from his wrists to the opposite walls supported his upper body. His face was covered in blood which had gushed from a long deep cut stretching across his forehead. The sight filled Mikasa both with wrath and relief. He was humiliated and hurt, yet still alive. Behind him knelt Historia, clad in a long white ceremonial gown. She was desperately trying to open the heavy cuffs which held his feet pinned securely to the ledge. Both of them were dangerously close to the still transforming titan. There was no time to lose.

"Hurry!" Levi yelled over his shoulder. Mikasa didn't have to be told twice. Keeping as far away from the titan's heat as possible she rushed towards the two, followed by her friends. But things didn't go exactly as expected. Suddenly the force of the steam radiating off the giant body loosened Historia's grip on Eren and send her flying straight into the wall behind her.

One moment of hesitation and it would have been all over for her, but Mikasa's decision was prompt and right. Right now there was someone who needed her help even more than Eren. It took one sharp swerve and in the blink of an eye she was at the wall, catching Historia mere inches away from the sharp crystals and cushioning the impact. She made sure that the petite girl was all-right and without further ado she snatched the bunch of keys, which luckily hadn't fallen off the ledge, and hurried to pass them on to Levi, who was already behind her. She was relieved to see that Jean and Connie were also rushing to Eren's side, ready to free him from the chains as soon as possible. Every second counted.

Mikasa stayed behind with Sasha to watch over Historia. Although she remained perfectly composed on the outside, she was as stressed as everyone else. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest, her thoughts were one big mess and every muscle of her body was tense, ready for immediate action. But aside from all that she felt something warm within her. From the moment she'd laid her eyes on Eren she had been filled with new energy. She had never lost hope of him being alive, not even for a second, but seeing him all chained and bloody and helpless with her own eyes doubled her strength and determination.

Her gaze kept shifting from Levi, Connie and Jean, who were struggling find the right key under the pressure of time, to the ceiling above them, which was threatening to collapse on them any minute now. Her whole body was urging her to help them before it was too late. Only several steps separated her from them. But the truth was that her intervention could bring only more harm than help. With three persons already surrounding Eren, she wouldn't even have the chance to get close to him. The only choice she had was to entrust his life in their hands.

And when a huge crystal broke off from the ceiling, for a moment she forgot how to breathe. At the same time the chains fell down with a clank. All four of them stumbled backwards and avoided being crushed by the crystal by the skin of their teeth. The ledge shook under the girls' feet as they saved the rest of the squad from colliding with the wall behind them.

Once again they wrenched him out of his kidnappers' grip. Mikasa had already lost count of all the times when they managed to rescue him. Both Eren and Historia were back in the Survey Corps' hands. Still, there was absolutely no time to rejoice. It was only one half of the success. The entire squad was now in mortal danger.

Trapped at the wall, frantically trying to figure out a way to escape, they watched as hell expanded right before their eyes. Unbearably hot gusts of steam kept whipping their faces and the entire chamber was starting to collapse. Even though the titan was already as big as the Colossal Titan, it never ceased to grow. Bones, muscle fibers, ligaments… everything was appearing out of nowhere, emerging from the mixture of smoke and steam. Kenny's squad were nowhere to be seen amidst the falling pieces of crystals.

Eren was unable to gather his thoughts. His whole body was aching, his muscles were stiff and sore. He had no idea how many days he had spent in captive, bound and gagged, with almost no opportunity to move, not to mention the chains which had been keeping him in an awfully straining position just a while ago. The skin on his face was now covered with a crust of his own dried blood, but he paid little heed to the terrible shape he was in. He was still under the influence of all the horrendous images he had seen in his head after Historia and her father placed their hands on his back. As much as he didn't want to believe it, all of it was true. Now he understood the unfamiliar flashbacks which used to haunt him and the sudden headaches which accompanied them. All pieces seemed to fit.

He had obtained the power of the coordinate by eating his own father, who had stolen it from the Reiss family. The realization was so shocking, so abrupt and unforeseen that it completely crushed him. Everything he had accomplished up until now, his goals and dreams… all of it lost its meaning. What remained was a deep void, quickly filled with utter despair and overwhelming guilt. Just how many deaths could have been prevented if it hadn't been for his father's sin? He had never chosen to be responsible for them. He couldn't take any more of it, it was too painful. For the past few years this feeling of guilt had been gnawing at him from the inside, weighing him down. He didn't want to feel it ever again. So why couldn't Historia respect his last wish and put an end to all this pain?

Speaking of Historia, Eren could barely keep up with her changing character. Krista, who had spent several years in the Training Corps with him, had been gullible and artificial, always trying to act like a kind and good girl. Historia, on the other hand, had been hollow and quiet, or at least seemed to be before both of them were kidnapped. In that case, who was the girl who claimed herself to be the enemy of humanity? And more importantly, why did she refuse to eat him?

Eren was sick of it all, sick of his life. It would have been better for everyone, for all the people in the world, if he just didn't exist. Since Historia didn't want to end his misery, he could count only on Rod Reiss, who had decided to take the initiative and transform into a titan. However, once he'd heard the blond-haired girl call out Mikasa's name, a tiny spark lit up his heart. His comrades had arrived just in time to save him again. Yet only after they freed him from the heavy chains did it dawn on him what danger they had put themselves in.

He could vaguely hear Levi and Mikasa excluding all possibilities of their successful escape. They were right. There was no hope left for them. Either they would be crushed by the collapsing ceiling or burned to death by the heat radiating off the titan. Again, everyone was going to die because of him. They must have already gone through hell just to reach him. How many had decided to risk their lives for his sake? Had all of them made it this far? Where was Armin? Eren was growing even weaker under all the pressure and responsibility for his comrades. He wasn't worth it. Their lives were a hundred times more valuable than his. And now all six of them were looking directly at him with oddly calm expressions on their faces, awaiting his decision.

Suddenly the situation had taken a 180-degree turn. A moment ago he had been ready to atone for his father's sin by letting himself be eaten, so that the power of the coordinate could return where it belonged and the Reiss family could use it to protect mankind. But he could never afford to let any more people die for him, especially people he cared for so much. He had already sworn it to himself countless times before. And when he read the inscription on a tiny glass which had fallen out from Rod's bag, he knew he had the power to save them.

"Eren," he heard the Corporal say. "Do what you want to do."

He clenched his teeth at the reminiscence of the most regrettable choice he had made in the Forest of Giant Trees. _Never again_, he thought, gripped with desperation. He didn't need any more reasons for taking matters into his own hands.

Mikasa watched him stumble forward directly towards the huge titan. Soon another explosion shook the barely-standing crystal columns as another skeleton started to form itself in the puffs of scalding steam. Her heart was now pounding even faster with anxiety. As a titan, Eren might have even managed to overpower Reiner, but in confrontation with _that thing_, which he was about to face, his chances were close to zero. She didn't have to be a pessimist to see that. Right now he was the last hope for the survival of Levi's squad, forced to risk his life for them, but that didn't mean that he should simply throw it away. But once the first defined shapes emerged from the dust and steam, all her previous concerns were momentarily replaced by shock.

Everyone's eyes widened at the unbelievable sight in front of them. Eren's body wasn't covered with skin, as it always used to be. On his neck, feet and elbows the muscles and tendons were exposed, but that wasn't the most extraordinary fact about his appearance. Apart from these few spots, each square centimeter of his flesh was protected by hard plates which formed an impenetrable armor… just like Reiner's. A loud roar, which they all knew so well, echoed off the walls of the chamber and the familiar mop of black hair assured everyone that under that thick armor was indeed none other than Eren, regardless of how inconceivable it was.

Before they could even try and puzzle out how in the world he had obtained such power, they saw him lay the back of his giant hand on what remained from the ledge. His hollow eyes were looking directly at them, betraying no emotion. At the same time one of the falling crystals smashed against his shoulder, but it didn't even cause him to stagger, nor leave a scratch on the hardened plates. Wasting no more time on hesitation, Levi hollered an order and jumped forward. Laying their last hope and trust in Eren and their Captain, the rest of the squad followed him. Once everyone was sitting in his palm, secured with the grapple-hooks of their gear, Eren crossed his arms before his chest so that they were all safe in the crook of his neck, protected by the large armored hand.

The heat emanating from his body was making it difficult to breathe in their 'shelter', but it was nowhere near as hot as near the other titan. They could hardly see what was going on outside through the narrow spaces between Eren's fingers. Only a thunderous roar informed them that the giant's transformation was nearly complete. Fragments of the ceiling were incessantly bombarding the armored body, sending vibrations through the plates of hardened skin.

Eren was doing his best to maintain his human consciousness. Part of him felt a burning desire to beat Rod Reiss into a pulp with his hardened fists and rip his nape out, whereas the other part had only one purpose – to protect the lives of his comrades at all costs and carry them to the surface all safe and sound. He saw everything through a haze, but it was enough to notice that the titan in front of him had taken a fully upright position, thus completely breaching the ceiling. It was no longer producing any gusts of steam. If only there had been a way to go around it and use the fallen crystals to climb out of the dungeon and to the surface. But even so it would be impossible to avoid confrontation…

_Should I fight him?_ Eren wondered if his new power was enough to win against a beast bigger than the Colossal Titan itself. Even if it occurred to be true, what should he do next? Rod Reiss posed an incredibly valuable source of information. He held answers to most of the questions which the Survey Corps hadn't been able to resolve for years. Certainly, killing him wouldn't have been the best solution. Right now he was just a mindless titan and Eren couldn't even think of a way to bring him back to his human form. In that case, perhaps he should try to use the coordinate skills on him? And what about Kenny and the others? They could already be awaiting the members of Levi's squad outside the chapel, or rather its ruins.

Nonetheless, one thing was clear – he had to _fight, _no matter in what way. Since he had managed to protect Mikasa from the Smiling Titan bare-handed, he could do so again with the new power which was now at his disposal. The time for thinking had run out. Thanks to his saviors he had once again regained faith in himself.

He let out a fierce roar and lunged forward, heading for an opening in the middle of hell.

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_The followers of my other story are probably glaring at me right now for writing about characters from other shows, instead of Katara and Zuko. What can I say… I had to get this out of my system. And the whole SnK fandom is now on tenterhooks, waiting for chapter 67._

_*cough* ...anyway... Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

_About this chapter, I decided to omit giving any details about Rod Reiss or Kenny, because as I'd mentioned earlier it would involve taking lots and lots of issues and possibilities into consideration and that's not what I wanted to concentrate on while writing this story. Next chapter, which is also the last one, will focus mainly on Eren and Mikasa._

_** Sentinel07:**__ You beat me to it. Actually yes, I've been thinking of this story as a continuation of "The Words Unspoken", but the connection isn't that significant to the plot itself. It only explains the development of the relations between Eren and Mikasa, so basically…_

…_**To all Readers:**__ if you haven't read my previous eremika fanfiction, all you need to know is that Eren has already realized how he truly feels about Mikasa and they've shared their first kiss._

* * *

A column of dense steam kept rising from the titan's decomposing body amidst the tall trees. It was ascending into the clear sky, darkening the first light of the new day above the heads of Levi's squad members. They had just managed to retrieve Eren from his titan form. The task would have been much more difficult if he hadn't chosen to remove the hardened skin from his nape before losing control over the huge exhausted body. He had taken his friends as far away from the ruined chapel as he could until the serum lost its effect and he collapsed at the edge of a forest.

Mikasa was kneeling on the soft grass beside her hero. He was lying on Sasha's green cloak and under Historia's outer white robe. It was all they could give to shield him from the cool of the crispy morning. Behind her the rest of the squad were hurriedly tending to each other's wounds. It was a miracle that all of them had made it out alive. Although there seemed to be no sign of human activity in view, they were still in the Inner District. It was only a matter of time before someone found them, lured by the clouds of steam hovering above the trees, and there was no guarantee that it would be an ally. Soon they would have to continue their escape.

But none of these concerns could cloud the relief which filled the black-haired girl's heart. No lives had been lost, primarily thanks to Eren again. Mikasa leaned over him and brushed loose strands of hair away from his forehead. The long gash which had marred it was now gone. Only the marks left by titan's flesh stretched across his cheeks, but soon they would fade away, too.

There they were again, reunited after what seemed to be ages of separation – two young soldiers who had been walking through life together ever since they met. Whenever someone was bold enough to part them, Mikasa would never falter in chasing them down until he was back with her, safe and sound. Each time she felt her heart being ripped out at the news of either his death or capture, and each time it leaped up with relief and pure joy, knowing that she hadn't lost him after all.

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tenderly, closing her eyes to stop them from welling up with tears. Even such simple gesture reassured her, as if the fact that he was right there next to her wasn't enough. His hand was warm to the touch and she felt like she never wanted to let go of it, lest he end up far away from her again.

Suddenly she felt his fingers clenching weakly around hers. Her eyes snapped open immediately. "Armin" she called out, quietly, but sharply, her gaze never leaving Eren's face. A second later the blond-haired soldier knelt hastily opposite her and leaned over their friend. He didn't need her to explain why she called for him.

Slowly and steadily, Eren lifted his eyelids to see Mikasa and Armin's worried faces above him. Despite his vision being still somewhat blurry he could see their eyes gleaming softly with joy. Their hair was disheveled, their clothes stained with blood, but they were happy. Slowly, everything started coming back to him and he had a vague idea of what had just happened.

"Eren, how are you feeling?" Armin asked apprehensively, whereas Mikasa kept looking straight into his greenish eyes, wordlessly, as a genuine soft smile was lighting up her beautiful features more and more.

Eren felt his stomach clench at the long-awaited sight. He let go of Mikasa's hand and with great effort he started to heave himself up to a sitting position, trying to support himself with his elbows. Every muscle in his body was throbbing and he winced in pain, but he couldn't care less. He yearned to embrace them, hold them in his arms and let them know how terribly he missed them, how happy he was to see that they were all-right. As he expected, Mikasa put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back onto the cloak before he could hurt himself even more.

"Rest, while you still can." she whispered, as her palm lingered a little longer on his chest above his heart.

"You're going to need your strength again soon." Armin added.

Eren's head started spinning after the failed attempt. He knew there was no point in bickering with his worried friends. They always knew what was best for him and they were right, he had to admit it. "Is… everyone okay?" he asked hoarsely, dreading the answer.

_Typical Eren_, thought Armin. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself faintly. He had known the titan-shifter since they were small kids and little had changed since that time. Eren would always put the wellbeing of his friends before his own.

"Some of us were less lucky than others, but yeah, we all live." said Connie, who had just walked up to them, grinning from ear to ear. On his face there were traces of blood, hopefully not his own. That wasn't all the information Eren needed, but still it did get a huge burden off his chest. Then he heard Jean's voice above his head.

"That's right. We saved your sorry ass and then it was your turn to save ours." He seemed to be in good condition as well. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. "Just don't rest on your laurels, shirtless wonder. It's not over yet."


	3. Chapter 3

_Here you go, the last chapter is finished. Now, the setting may be a bit odd, but I just really needed to come up with a place where our favorite characters could talk in private and ta-da… this is the result._

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Eren couldn't believe his own ears after he was told that the plan to overthrow the government had actually worked. And that wasn't even all the good news. He was pleasantly surprised to hear that the Scouting Legion's name had been cleared and civilians no longer considered them as foes. They were even looked upon as heroes who revealed the authority's true colors and the facts which the Military Police had been carefully concealing and twisting for many years.

Levi's squad had been granted a place to stay at in the Inner District and were now watching over Hanji's recovery. With the revolution in the government's structure and the public opinion, as well as with the information provided by Eren and Historia, they were now standing at the crossroads. It was necessary to take decision quickly and choose the next path. This responsibility rested largely with the Corporal and Ervin.

After a long discussion in the small circle of Levi's squad, which felt more like an exhausting questioning, Eren went to the vast gardens in the vicinity of the monarch's residence. Nobody could keep him locked up in a comfortable room, let alone in bed. He had healed fast and what he needed was at least a breath of fresh air. He was fully aware that there was no escape from the sea of new memories which had flooded him in such a short period of time. He couldn't even tell if he preferred to be alone or secretly craved company. The choice wasn't his, though. Mikasa had received a special order from Levi to watch over her 'precious friend', although no one needed to suggest it or force her to do it.

Less than an hour remained until the sun would sink behind the monumental wall which enclosed the Inner District. The two young people were strolling amidst beds of colorful flowers and evergreen dwarf shrubs. If someone were watching them right now, they would have considered it the most natural thing in the world. But to Eren and Mikasa it was almost like a journey back in time to their childhood. It felt so different from the way they would normally spend time, so unlike their everyday life. They walked together along a paved path, their eyes fixed on some distant point in front of them, rather than roaming over the flora around them.

They listened to the overture of the birds' evening concert, until Eren turned to his companion. "Remember the meadows in Shiganshina?" His voice sounded somewhat flat.

Mikasa cast her gaze down at the memory. "Yeah… we used to play in them together with Armin." Then she looked around, as if she had taken an interest in the greenness, which surrounded them, for the first time since they entered the garden. She stopped at a flowering shrub and touched the delicate lively-colored petals. For a moment her thoughts drifted off to the blue sunlit seas of forget-me-nots as she studied the petals, holding them carefully between her fingers. "I wonder if they still look the same." she sighed.

Eren turned around watched her in silence, visiting the same place in his thoughts. She always loved flowers, ever since he could remember. She used to bring whole bouquets of them home every so often. The tiny colorful plants would brighten up the entire house, as well as his mother's heart.

"Eren, I wanted to ask you something." Mikasa said, turning away from the bush.

"What is it?"

She strode along the path in his direction. "Yesterday Historia really surprised me saying that she wanted to talk to me about something in private. It turned out she wanted to talk about you."

Initially perplexed, Eren already had an idea of how this conversation would turn out. He frowned and averted his eyes, as she passed him by.

"She seemed really worried and… asked me to help you." Mikasa carried on. "When she told me about your conversation under the chapel I didn't believe her. Or at least, I didn't want to." She came to a halt and turned around to face him, her expression unreadable. "So tell me, Eren. Why would you ask her for death?"

For a longer while she awaited a response, but Eren only took a few steps across the path, suddenly strangely intrigued by another bush growing next to a stone garden bench. It surprised her that he looked more saddened than angered by the question. "It doesn't matter now." he said eventually. "I don't feel like that anymore."

"And I couldn't be happier to hear that. But it doesn't answer my question." she pressed for explanation. Historia had made the issue sound dangerously serious. That was why she had to hear it from Eren himself. "We've already discussed it, haven't we? After Hanji-san's experiment." she continued, breaking another moment of silence. "I thought you'd already accepted the fact that it's natural for people to risk their lives for the hope they see in you."

Finally the titan-shifter spun around. "You don't understand!" the words came out louder than he intended. Frustrated, he clenched his jaw and sank down onto the bench. "It's not about that." he said calmly in a low voice, supporting his head on his hand.

Something was clearly tormenting him again. Already at their previous meeting Mikasa could sense that Eren hadn't given Levi a full account of the events under the Reiss family's chapel. There must have been a part, or parts, which he decided to omit. She found it a bit strange, since he truly trusted the entire squad. Later that day she saw Historia talking to the Corporal, who was unsatisfied with the lack of key aspects in Eren's story. The look which appeared on his face after he heard what she had to say spoke for itself. Something that was able to astound Levi must have been of great significance.

Without hesitation, Mikasa sat down beside him and bowed her head to see his face, now hidden behind bangs of dark ruffled hair. "Talk to me." she said firmly, making it sound more like a demand rather than a request. She didn't expect to receive the answer so soon. The answer which confirmed her worst misgivings.

"I killed my father." he uttered almost inaudibly, his hands balled into fists. "I ate him!" His face was contorted with despair as he raked his hands vehemently through his hair. "I saw it all… through his eyes. He was the one who stole the power from the Reiss… and that's how it ended up in me."

Suddenly it got so quiet that Mikasa could hear her own heart beating, although she could swear that it just stopped for a while. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with sorrow and compassion.

"So that's the truth after all." she sighed, casting a sad sideways glance at him.

His eyes snapped open and he looked at her incredulously. "How…"

"Armin was able to deduce that much from the little information we had." she explained. She recalled what Eren had scribbled on the ground during the experiment and Hanji's report about the Reiss family. As unbelievable as it was, it all fit together. "We didn't even want to accept such thought, despite the clear indications." she added quietly, staring at her hands folded in her lap.

She remembered doctor Jaeger as a caring responsible father who had offered her a place in his family. For all these years after his sudden mysterious disappearance she had been wondering why he abandoned them and where he might have been. Eren must have been asking himself the same question, completely unaware of the shocking truth. Could it really justify the radical plea which he had addressed to Historia? It must have been the final drop that made the cup of bitterness overflow and he could no longer handle the accumulated feeling of guilt.

Much as she wanted to comfort him, she knew that no words nor gestures of compassion could soothe the pain caused by such realization. She put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She could feel how tensed he was under her fingers.

"I can't even imagine what it felt like to learn about it so suddenly… in such circumstances." she said eventually. Her voice sounded unnaturally thin.

Upon hearing those words, Eren realized how complicated this situation must have been for his companion. She was trying her best to lift that heavy weight off his shoulders, even though she wasn't the one meant for carrying it.

He didn't want to talk about it in the first place mainly because each time when his thoughts wandered off to that topic was a torture for him. But aside from that, he didn't want to pass that burden on to the people around him, especially Mikasa. He had already caused her too much trouble. And to think that this was what he would give in return for her sincere attempts at helping him. Hurting her even more was the last thing he could afford.

Suddenly Mikasa she felt something soft brush her temple. Surprised, she raised her hand to touch it. It turned out to be a little flower tucked behind her ear. She turned her head to look at the young man beside her, puzzled and touched. His eyes were still slightly watery, but his face held the usual serious expression.

"That's why I don't want to think of it anymore." he said honestly. "And I don't want you to think of it either. Back then… I wasn't myself. Everything Historia's father said sounded so convincing that I actually believed him until I could no longer listen. If Historia hadn't come to her senses, I would have been already dead. She was able to see right through him, while I just wanted it all to be over. It would have been for the best, since I've been useless from the beginning anyway." he said disdainfully.

"Say it again…" Mikasa's voice was low and shaky. She brought a hand to the red scarf coiled securely around her neck and clenched her fingers in the soft fabric. "Say it again and I swear I'll make you regret it."

From the corner of his eye Eren could see that her eyes were closed, her eyebrows furrowed. "You've _never_ been useless." she said then, turning towards him. "Do I really have to remind you of all the times when you saved our lives?"

He brought his hand up to his head again. "No."

But she didn't let go. "Then maybe I should remind you how much we all need you. Not just because you're the hope of humanity, but because you're a part of our family. _Mainly_ because of that!" She sighed a little and bit her lower lip. "I didn't believe Historia, because it felt like it wasn't even you she was talking about. You've always been the last one to give up. You've been able to open people's eyes and show them a road, which they would normally never take. You have the power to inspire everyone around you. And…" she pulled her scarf over her chin habitually. "…I don't even dare think of where I would be right now, if it hadn't been for you."

As a matter of fact, Mikasa had also experienced similar breakdown, though she had never told him about it in detail. It had been during the Defense of Trost when she was forced to endure the pain of being deprived of her family again. It seemed like ages had already passed since then.

"Believe it or not, I know what it's like to feel that your life has lost all meaning." she continued. "Only in my case it was when I thought I lost you for the first time. But that one event has made me much stronger and wiser. Something urged me to stand up and keep fighting. And it was your voice. It was _you_ who taught me to fight when others thought that giving up was the only option."

She rose from her seat. "If you don't fight, you cannot win. Who should know it better than you?"

Eren looked up at her. There was fire in her dark lustrous eyes which were fixed directly on his.

"So don't you ever question the meaning of your life." she said firmly. "It may be hard, but it's priceless."

For a longer while the titan-shifter sat in silence, gazing at the paved path with unseeing eyes. Eventually, he stood up and took several steps away from Mikasa.

The girl was at her wit's end. "Eren!" she called out sharply. Did anything of what she'd just said even reach him? If not, she didn't know what else she could do to get through to him.

"Thank you." he said huskily. "To be honest, I rarely think of myself this way." It was true that when it came to his relations with the people closest to him he used to consider only the trouble he would cause them. Mikasa's words reminded him of all the opposite aspects. Because of the trauma he had experienced he almost forgot how strong his sense of purpose used to be. The desire to avenge his mother, the deep abhorrence for titans, the dreams of visiting the outside world… they weren't something unnecessary. They were exactly what made him who he was. His explicit goals were the main reason why he would never give up in growing stronger, becoming strong enough to achieve them. Without them he was hollow inside.

He turned around to face Mikasa. "Back there, under the chapel... I turned into a titan, because I knew I had to believe in myself in order to save everyone. I couldn't think of any other option. And now, after you got me out of there, I've been trying to look at everything from a distance." Everything had started to become clear already when he'd been disclosing the information he'd heard from Rod Reiss to the Corporal and others. Sitting safely inside four walls he could reflect on the entire situation without any pressure, no longer manipulated by Historia's father's lies nor blinded by grief. As a result he had come to highly significant conclusions.

"I've realized that if this power had remained in the Reiss family, nothing would ever change. They would do nothing to exterminate the titans, because they would be influenced by the First King's will. But I have never experienced this sort of thing." It made him wonder… What if _he_ was actually the one who was capable of freeing mankind from the titans, unlike those who were supposedly the only ones granted the right to use it? The responsibility connected with such power was enormous, but he couldn't run away from it.

"I know I have to learn to control it, but… I just don't know how. At least not yet. That's why I must go the basement of my house." He looked down at his open hand, then clenched it in a fist. "There must have been some kind of justifiable reason behind my father's actions. And I don't think I will ever get over the truth, but I won't let it control me. Now I know what it feels like to hit the lowest point… and I will use it to become stronger."

Mikasa could see the familiar determination reflected in his intense gaze, but somehow his voice lacked the usual self-confidence and energy. It wasn't gone, only… weaker. However, it would be inconsiderate to expect him to be exactly the same person he used to be. He might have the ability to regenerate, but _these_ wounds needed time to heal.

She walked up to him slowly. "I want you to know that we'll always stand by you." She took his hands in hers and looked straight into his eyes, almost instantly drowning in the sea of greenness. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

A small smirk tugged at his lips. "I know you will." He tucked her raven-black hair behind her ear to reveal the creamy-white star-shaped flower. He regretted the fact that he had so little opportunities for taking time to admire her beauty. Of course, she didn't need any flowers in her hair to look gorgeous. Eren wished that she would smile more often. "Just… don't worry about me so much." he said in a hushed voice.

She tilted her head, her eyes half-lidded. "Seriously? How can you even ask for it."

He opened him mouth to answer, but no sound escaped his throat. Instead, he lowered his head, grimacing.

Mikasa raised her hands to push the unruly bangs of hair away from his face, then leaned in to plant a gentle lingering kiss on his forehead. How could she not worry about someone who meant the world to her?

* * *

It was already dark by the time they returned to the meeting room. They were greeted there by their friends, who were already waiting for the Captain. Baffled, Mikasa was wondering why they were all casting warm smiles at her. Only after hearing Jean's compliment did she understand.

"That's a pretty flower, Mikasa." he stuttered, the color of his cheeks nearly matching the color of her scarf. "I mean… it makes _you_ look even prettier."

"Thanks." Eren said casually and went over to Armin who was unsuccessfully trying to suppress a smile.

Mikasa only buried her faint sheepish smile in the folds of her scarf and followed him, leaving a confused Jean with a blank expression on his face.

THE END

* * *

_I'm sorry, even though I love Jean, doing this to him is just irresistible._

_Thank you very much for the reviews, favs and follows. And now excuse me while I crawl back to my corner to wait nervously for the next chapter of the manga._

_Until next time!_


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